The New 4 Loko

It was only a matter of time before we had a new alcohol form to vilify now that 4 Loko and similar beverages are banned. The new and upcoming villain for us to keep foolish college kids from having to be responsible for their alcohol intake – Whipanol or alcoholic whipped cream. The top two contenders right now are Cans of Cream and Whipped Lightning. I think it is safe to say which one is going to win the marketing battle. Which sounds better to you:

“You want a hit off my can of cream?” “Ew, are you asking me to do some perverted sex act?” “No, it’s alcoholic whipped cream.”

or

“Hey you want some Whipped Lightning?” “I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds bad ass. Yes.”

Careful kids, the newest alcohol menace is hitting the streets and who knows how long it will be before this one goes down too. It is simply too dangerous for people to consume this as it has both alcohol, dairy and is pressurized. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. God forbid people be responsible for their alcohol intake.

Stay classy.

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Comments
2 Responses to “The New 4 Loko”
  1. jenika says:

    i think i might laugh in someone’s face if they offered me “whipped lightening”. who comes up with this stuff?

    • cmaliska says:

      Sounds better than “Can of Cream” though. And think of the target market – partying college students. It’s all about the flash, not necessarily the content on this one.

      The better question is who wants to take in whipped dairy with alcohol? To me it just sounds gross but I’m sure there are plenty of people who will partake.

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